Suicide Note

Well, I guess I didn't chump out after all. Look at me, I was beautiful. Tall, bronze, dark eyes, bold blonde hair in a cute curly Afro that cascaded beneath my shoulder blades. I was a catch. Yes sir, yes in deed, my parents gave birth to a gorgeous woman when they conceived me. But that's all I had, my beauty...beauty so great I had very few female friends because of my many male suitors. I didn't have anyone in my corner. Everyone was a leech. All I was to people was a human atm or a hot wet hole available to a hard dick. I meant the world to no one, and I meant even less to myself, so its only befitting that I'm here, and my body is hanging from the ceiling light I re-enforced last night to be able to hold the weight of my dead, 5'9 inch, 166 lb frame. I read somewhere that a dead persons body doubles in weight, so I'm hanging from the ceiling at 332 lbs...heavy enough to pull the light fixture and some of the ceiling down. I been here about a week, and just as I thought, no one has tried to find out if I'm okay, or if I'm even alive. Well, I'm dead. I killed myself exactly 6 days ago, because I had had enough of my life and the selfish people I allowed to populate it. Look at me...almost a shame I did it, but then again, who really gave a fuck? Not a single soul. And apparently my landlord don't care about the late rent this month because she ain't even been up here, tearing my door half off looking for her rent money. Alone I hang. And you know what? I can't help but admire my work. I did great! Great enough that I bet I pissed God off for taking my life. You know what I say to that? Fuck God! Out of all the shit I went through in my short 27 years on the planet you want me to stand here and lie because religion is being brought up? Shid, to hot hell with that. I spent my life lying just so mufuckas could hear what they wanted to hear. Why should I spend my short delay onto the otherside doing the same? I admit though, I really hope God has unlimited mercy on my weary, worn down to a tooth pick soup. I slit my wrist vertically, so I could bleed. Not both wrist, but I slit my left wrist because I'm left handed, and my mama always said "IT'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH YO RETARDED LEFT HAND ASS!" I hated being left handed. And I hung myself so I didn't do damage to my pretty round face; a face many men lied to, just to get what they wanted and nothing more. I hope I didn't damage my body though. I starved myself down from 240 to 166 for my wedding...the wedding that didn't happen because my man was killed when he fell 8 feet from the building his company was rehabilitating. Yep, fell and uh, fell head first, and his skull exploded upon contact with the concrete. Finally, I had someone in my corner, and God took him in the most violent way he could. So to my life, I put up two middle fingers. Fuck it. Maybe God will reincarnate me and give me a different life for the better. Look at me, dried blood stringing from ly bottom lip onto the black tank top I'm wearing. I decided to slide on sweat pants, same color, no socks. Why be sexy and I'm about to lay my ass down perminantly? Damn, that blood string does look gross as fuck though. I wonder can I break it? Nope. I'm transparent. Guess I'm a ghost and shit now.. smh, it ain't all you'd think it is. Nah, ain't no casper the friendly ass ghost shit here. It's hot and cold at the same time. Kinda lonely, but no worse than my prior fucked up life. I wonder how people gone take it when they find out, excuse me, discover that I'm a dead mafucka now. Like I said, its been bout a fucking week, its August 21st, 103 degrees, I cut my air off, and turned the stove on. So I'm stankin. Hanging here, decomposing.

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