Karma

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this Anita," Dr. Lawson begain, then paused. "maybe you should have your husband come in, this is something very serious". I looked at her like she was crazy. "Dr. Lawson, samaj has never brought his ass in on my appointments before, and he's not welcome now. so what's the problem? i got a bad yeast infection? i got gono? what is it? never mind, shit. just gimme a prescription to cure it so i can get on with my life." i brushed my hand through the back of my hair, which i'm sure was tangled by now. Dr. Lawson at first looked perplexed, then she changed her look. " you don't understand Anita, this is very serious. and i think you should include your husband in this conversation." "Dr. Lawson, didn't i just say that i don't want samaj in here?" i raised my voice. Dr. Lawson stood and spoke. " Anita, you have Human Immunodeficiancy Virus." I know i didn't hear this bitch right. "excuse me? " "Anita, you have H.I.V," she repeated. There has gotta be some mistake. Not me, nah, i didn't fuck with dirty dicked niggas, fags or dopers. damn i guess that when they say that God makes no mistakes, I should have taken it for the truth. here i am, still in shock after hearing the most life altering news i'll hear literally for the rest of my life. the doctor just told me that (1). I am 18 weeks pregnant with a baby that doe not belong to my wonderful husband Samaj Jackson, and (2.) she just told me that I am H.I.V positive. I can't help but think that she was bullshitting me, lying, mad cause she dark skinned and got nappy assed hair, and mine is curley and my skin is bright, but when i saw it in black and white, on the lab report, I broke down. God did this to me, didn't he? if he loved me, and if he truly existed, why the fuck am i sitting here pregnant by what ever nigga i slept with months ago, and why do i have the uncurable? nah, Samaj did this to me. he cheated on me with his baby mama, and i'll bet that bitch gave him this shit, and he gave it to me; or could i have gotten it when i cut myself on that paper that had blood on it at work? maybe this new tattoo on my ass that says "forever" with the heart around it claimed my fate. yea, the tattoo artist didn't clean the needle. Or, did my dentist fuck me up? they don't always clean that shit up, and they use tainted tools. I know better. I did this to my damned self, and i could sit here and blame everyone from jesus to my mama, but i know that samaj has never cheated on me, i didn't get H.I.V from no paper and no where else. I got it from a nasty dick. Men ain't shit! muthafucka's always doing a sister wrong, but will praise a white bitch to death. That's it, nigga's did this to me, Anita Green-Jackson. That's right, i'm anita, but you can call me ne-ne, since i'm taking you on a tour of what has led up to now.
As you just heard the doctor say, I have H.I.V, and my ass is pregnant. "Damn, how am i gonna face my friends now?" Dr. Lawson again looked at me with that confused look. " Anita, that is the least of your problems now. you are almost 5 months pregnant with a child who may be born with H.I.V, and you yourself are positive. Have you talked to your husband today?" this bitch must be outta her mind. " No, and i damn sure ain't telling him shit, and Imma keep it that way! this ain't his baby no how, so he don't need to know that i'm pregnant." "Anita, listen, the chances for an abortion are slim, and I was thinking that you needed to tell him first about you being positive." " Dr. lawson, you don't understand, I can't tell samaj." "If you don't mind me asking, why, Anita, are you insisting on not telling your husband about this?" Dr. Lawson looked angry and judgmental. " because i'm not, hell, if he was taking care of his business right i wouldn't have had to cheat on him." i heard the words come out of my mouth, and i myself didn't believe it. Samaj is a very good man, always has been. it's me that is the bitch. Samaj never cheated, never hit me, and could fuck the shit out of me, without touching my body, but he wasn't on my level. At least that's what Yolanda and Frankie said. Samaj is 28 and chasing a career as an artist, and i'm a daycare teacher assistant. He and i just aren't equal, and i got tired of it, so i ventured out." Anita, it's your choice, however, as your health care provider, I think it is in his and your best interest to know ALL the details of this visit. You can pick up your paper work and prescription at the front desk." she stood and walked out. Fuck that! I'm not telling Samaj shit!
As i got dressed, my concience began to attack me, big time, but i ignored it. I just couldn't tell samaj. I mean, how the fuck do you tell your husband "hey honey, how was your day? oh, i went to the doctor today, and i've got H.I.V, and pregnant by God only knows who." damn, karma aint no fucking joke. I'll admit that i fucked up, i did this to myself, samaj, and to my very first child. If God has a heart, he'll let this baby be born clean, but God apparently aint been listening to me lately. "Oh well, might as well go face the music." i took one last look at my body, a body that is camoflauging this budding pregnacy because I'm already plump, weighing 174 and 5"3 and shook my head. I guess that i got what i deserved. On my way to the waiting room, it felt like people heard the conversation between me and Dr. Lawson. Almost like she had the shit on speaker, and now everyone knows that the light skinned short girl with wavy hair is a dirty whore,who cheated on her husband and got pregnant by somebody, and she got H.I.V. How did i fall into this trap? I mean, i was careful, thoughtless, but careful. But damn, there was so many niggas. Lemme see, there was Dame, Rock and Ju-Ju from the west side, Rick,Tramell, Nik, Mike, Ray-Ray, H-man and Geno from Wellston, Jr. from the south side, Neiko from U-City, M.K from the west side, David, Ferris, Mitchell, and that nigga Yap from the east side, and that's just the recent niggas. Then there were the few times i got my lesbian on with Eugena, Jackie and Ro-Ro, but them my girls, they would have told me if they had some shit going on. Wait, what if Samaj stupid ass did cheat on me? we aint been married but 2 years and it's been a real rough trip. What if he did cheat with his triffling baby mama Nikita and her half spanish ass gave him this shit just to spite me? my thoughts were interupted when Samaj touched my arm. " Baby, is everything cool?" he kissed my cheek. I felt repulsed by even allowing him to touch me. My heart was screaming," Samaj baby, i'm a slut! i got H.I.V and you didn't give it to me, i'm sorry baby! i ruined our marraige! i cheated! i'm pregnant!! baby don't leave me. please," but my mind disagreed and did the first thing it could always be counted on when Samaj asked me shit. Lie. " Samaj, i'm pissed off enough, let's just go home, okay? the Dr. just told me that i got an internal infection from using them damn magnums you just always gotta have!" yea, that was fucked up, but ain't no way im gonna let Samaj know the real. Not yet anyway. " what? aw boo, i'm sorry. i didn't know that you were alllergic to latex." he kissed my lips. " samaj, lets just go, okay?" " damn, a nigga can't kiss you now, huh?" " nope. i just need to go home and take a bath, right now, okay?" i just hate myself for lying to him, but i hate him even more for being too stupid to see that im lying to him. oh well, fuck him.
"girl that's messed up" frankie, my gay assed bmf replied after i told him that i'm pregnant by i dunno who. " what did your tired assed husband say?" " he don't know yet, but you know me, imma try and abort this little mufuka before i have to tell him shit." " and how do you plan to get him off the money for the abortion, oops, my bad, i forgot he aint got no job, and ya ass is just as broke as the rest of us, so bitch whatcha gonna do?" damn, i forgot that my man aint shit." i guess imma have to find out which one of them niggas played target practice with my shit and tell them that i need to get rid of this baby a.s.a.p." " gurl, good damn luck, shit you gonna need it." " shit, who you telling. and if that don't work, then imma just tell samaj that this his baby and tell him i'm not ready to be nobody's mama, hell i'm just now growing up my damned self." " hoe you 26 years old, ya ass is good and damned grown." we laughed together for a brief moment, but as frankie continued over into one of his many gay episodes, i thought about how much i actually could loose if samaj found out (a) that i'm pregnant by another man and (b) that i'm H.I.V positive and he's possibly infected too. " Ne-Ne, you here?" i looked around the livingroom wall and saw samaj come into the house. " frankie, i gotta go, samaj here." "okay, gurl, handle your business." i hung up the phone and stood up and stretched. "damn, my back is killing me! Ne-Ne, can you give ya husband a massage?" he must think i'm a fucking servant. " no, damn, you ain't been nowhere doing shit, why is your back hurting?" " i was over Nikita house playing with lil man and....."WHAT THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU WAS OVER NIKITA FUNKY ASS HOUSE!!!" i needed an excuse to argue with samaj so he could get the fuck away from me. " OH, SO YOU OVER THAT BITCH HOUSE WITHOUT ME,WHAT, YOU FUCKING THAT SKANK BITCH AGAIN? YOU TRYIN TO GIVE YOUR SON A SIBLING?" " Ne-Ne, girl calm yo ass down, you know better! you know i ain't steppin outta my marraige, especially with niki." "WHAT YOU THOUGHT ABOUT SOMEBODY ELSE! I SWEAR TO GOD SAMAJ, I BETTER NOT FIND OUT YOU........" he interupted. " girl you better quit hallerin at me fo i smack the shit outta you! the fuck you think this is" damn, samaj mannin up at me turned me on. " what samaj, you gonna hit me now,?" " i thought you was a man, now you gonna hit me huh?" i started taking off my clothes, and before i knew it i was naked, forgetting about my fatass stomach poking out. But samaj never said shit. he just got hard, and instantly knew what time it was. " c'mon now, you know daddy ain't gone hit you, not like that no way." he pulled on his dick through his jeans. " c'mere and let me eat whats mine." i started to protest it, but i just couldn't resist letting samaj taste my pussy. his jet black goatee anad locks always were a turn on, not to mention the nigga is black as dark chocolate, thick as hell and hella fine. " samaj, you trifflin bastard, how you know i wanna be ate?" " how you gone resist me, the best dick you've ever had? " no he didn't. i know four niggas who fucked better than he did, but i got some ass to kiss, so while samaj was lickin and suckin the shit outta my sloppy wet H.I.V pussy, i had my mind on Dame, from the west side, and my concience was fuckin with me again. okay, yea, i'm a scandelous assed bitch, letting this nigga eat diseased pussy, but hey, he gotta die from something, and fuck that, if i can't have him, nobody, especially his fucking baby mama can!
well, yes, i feel like a straight up tack head for playing samaj out like that, but hell, he asked, no begged to eat my damn pussy, so what was i supposed to do? tell him that his wife had been being a duck and got the uncurable, and was pregnant by some nameless, faceless nigga? i think not. " damn, samaj, you eating the shit outta this pussy! don't stop baby,please don't stop!" i was laying it on thick. samaj was great, but he didn't have shit on over half the other niggas i fucked with. " you like that, huh? you like when daddy lick that clit like that?" just hearing samaj slurp and suck on my diseased pussy almost made me vomit, but i had to keep up the act." yes, daddy! oh shit im about to cum!" if i could, i'd strangle myself on my own nut. this aint right, samaj doesn't deserve this shit, but the damage is alsready done, so i guess we'll die together. " oh, daddy, please fuck me, please, i can't take it no more!" " you want this dick""yes"" take it then." samaj stood up and finished undressing. to be honest, i really didn't like skinny asssed dudes, but samaj has the biggest dick i've seen, and judging my current situation, you can tell i've seen more than my fair share. "you want daddy to fuck the shit outta that pussy? " if you can nigga, you know ya ass aint got no stamina." i loved talking shit to him before we fucked. it made it all the more interesting. " lemme get that shit from the back, baby." i did as i was told, and damn, wouldn't you know it, the dick was off the chain. " oh, yea, daddy, harder, please harder,!" " tell me this mine, tell me this mine!" slap."it's yours, daddy, it's yours!" and with a few more humps, samaj was done. and like always, i wasn't. his comment after our premature sex episode shocked the fuck outta me. " damn girl, we must be fuckin too much. it took forever for me to get that nut." "what the fuck you mean?" i knew what he was about to say." i'm saying, and i aint tryna be offensive, but your pussy is getting kinda loose. maybe we should......"MAYBE WE SHOULD WHAT, SAMAJ? HAVE AFUCKING THREESOME? STOP FUCKING FOR A WHILE? HOW ABOUT HIS, SINCE YOU THINK YOUR BIG ASS DICK AINT THE REASON MY PUSSY IS SO CALLED LOOSE, HOW ABOUT YOU KISS MY FUCKIN ASS, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" i needed that argument just so i could storm away from him. of course like the pussy that he is, he ran behind me and tried to kiss my ass, but i locked the bathroom door. " bay, i didn't mean it that way, why don't you just listen." "FUCK YOU SAMAJ!WHY DON'T YOU GO BE WITH YOUR DAMNED BABY MAMA THEN SINCE MY PUSSY IS SOOO LOOSE! I HATE YOU!" i admit, all this theatrical bullshit just to get his ass out of the house wasn't necessary, but it'll have to do for now, hell, i got some shit to take care of and samaj would only fuck up the plans."ne-ne, imma leave, okay, cause i know i hurt your feelings, and imma just leave and let you cool off, imma take a walk, okay bay? i love you, girl, i love you, even though you hate my ass right now.....you hear me ne?" i started fake crying just to make him feel worse. what kind of shit is that to say to someone? even if it's true, i just didn't expect to hear it from my own damned husband. " WHATEVER, SAMAJ, !". after i heard him get the keys and slam the door, i ran from the bathroom to make sure he was gone. he peeled off down the street undoublty with his head in his lap, so i can expect some form of gift when he returns. oh well, time for action.
"may i speak to dame?" i said in my sweetest voice. " who the fuck is this?" " is this dame?" " depends on who you are, if you the right person, im dame." i knew it was him, cause this was the same casual bullshit conversation we carried the first time we fucked. truth be told, if i wasn't married, dame coulda been my man. i've been trying to give him this pussy since 10th grade, but his ass was always on some M.O.B(money over bitches) bullshit, so it took a minute, but it was hella worth it."dame, this Ne-Ne.""Ne-Ne who?" "you know, light skinned ne-ne with the good pussy,good hair, good head......." dame cut me off" oh yea, that ne-ne, what good bitch, oops, i mean ne-ne?" "damn dame, it's like that? i thought we was better than that?" he laughed."better than what? lil mama you is just a piece, so know ya role. what the fuck you doing calling me anyway? you know i don't do grimey yella hoes on a regular unless there's something in it for me." "what? nigga you know better than to come at me all sideways like that, and i'm the best peice of pussy you ever had, so you better quit trippin with me before......" he cut me off again" before what? bitch don't think yo shit fire because i told you some shit just to get in that ass, some ass that feels just like every other hoe's ass i've had, but then again, you do got some straight dragon face going on, but bitch please, don't set yaself on that pedistal, cause you still aint shit. now if you done, i got other shit to do other than waste my time or minutes on some loose pussy." damn! there that statement goes again! "hello?" dame hissed in the phone."dame, i am calling yo ignorant black ass for a reason, but if you don't want to hear me out, then i sure don't gotta waste no more time on tis call..." "what you want anita? i ain't fuckin you, i don't want no head......right now, and i aint givin you no money, so what it do?" "dame, i'm pregnant and i think it might be yours." he laughed again, but this time harder, and he dropped his phone. i could hear him talking in the background" aye, nigga! this filthy bitch ne-ne on here talkin bout she holdin my shorty!" "what nigga? yo, it might be mine, you know i was smashin too?" i heard his brother rock in the background laughing. well, at least i aint gotta go at his ass with the news. I could also hear other nigga in the background laughing and claiming this bastard in my stomach. when dame picked up the phone and in an exasperated tone he said," bitch please, beat it with that nonsense. I know for a fact that shit ain't mine, hoe you been mashed out by at least 6 niggas i know, including yo husband, and trick i strapped up, so like i said, beat it TRAAAAMMMMPP!" dame hung up the phone on me. He had one thing right though, i did let alot of his boys get it, but I only did it out of love for him, you know, aint no fun unless the homies get some? but while they asses laughing, it wouldn't be to hilarious if this baby did turn out to be one of theirs, cause it damn sure aint samaj's. oh well, i'll play on dame's phone later. now i gotta call this nigga ju-ju.
"Bowen residents? " oh man this nigga got a kid? he an all around liar! " may i speak to Ju-Ju? "who?" i cleared my throat and tried again."may i speak to Ju-Ju...uh your dad?" "Ju-Ju ain't my daddy! he just my momma boyfriend. who is this?" this nigga got a girlfriend, and he holdin down a shorty that aint his, oh baby, lemme find out this his baby, imma get his ass for all he got. " who are you, lady?" i couldn't tell whether or not i was talking to a little girl or boy, so i continued,"who i am is not important, and hasn't your mother taught you not to speak to strangers?" before the child could answer, i hear the mother say" Julasia, who is that on my phone?" "some lady axin for Ju-Ju...""some lady?gimme that damn phone.this is Marcella, Julian's fiance." no this fonky bitch didn't annouce her role as if i give's a fuck who she is. " yes, um Marlika, " i purposley mispronounced her name, just to disrespect her."yes, this is Anita Green and i was tryin to let JU-JU know that i'm pregnant by him, and it's is for sure his kid because when we fuck, we always go at it bare back." i rubbed it in real good, and waited for her response. But the response i got wasn't the one i expected." really, " she sounded unphased." YEA REALLY!" i know this bitch didn't just play like this shit didn't shock her." i see, and you said your name is.....um, ah, anitra, right?" " Bitch, my name is Anita, and yea, i'm still fuckin JU-JU, oh i mean Julian, matter of fact we fucked this morning." i lied. Marcella was still unaffected by my shenanogans."yea, and i'm sure that he had fun fucking you this morning, and all the other bitches he fucked this morning, but he's not here right now, so i'll take a message and tell him you called, okay, amisha?" "ANITA, BITCH! DON'T THINK IMMA STAY ON THIS PHONE AND LET YOU KEEP DIRESPECTING ME LIKE THAT, I KNOW......."she interjected,"you know where i live? i know you do. you see, ANITA, i know all about your nasty yella ass and Ju-Ju, but see, bitch, what you fail to understand is i don't give a fuck what hoe,skank or tramp bitch he's fuckin because he takes GOOD GATDAMNED care of me and my daughter.so i tell you what, please, continue to fuck him, i know that dick is good, get it, spit on it, suck it til it bleeds, i don't give no fuck, okay?" who she think she fooling. she know her heart is in her stomach right now." hoe what ever, you know, he gonna take care of his baby, i don't give a fuck if"..."HOLD THE FUCK UP BITCH! LIKE I SAID, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU AND JULIAN DO, AND BITCH, TRUST AND BELIEVE, I KNOW ALL ABOUT YO TRIFFLIN ASS! BITCH WHILE YOU CALLIN ME TRYIN TO LAY THE SMACK DOWN, YOU NEED TO TELL YA HUSBAND THAT YO FONKY FAT ASS GOT H.I.V, NOW WHAT, SKANK!? YOU AIN'T POPPIN YA MOUTH OFF NOW ARE YOU" i couldn't say shit. who the fuck told her?better yet, if she knew, who else knew and did samaj know. "girl what ever, you need to get it together and worry about the paper im finna get from ya man" "bitch, please. there is a difference between being a piece and a bottom bitch. you ain't shit but another hoe on the chest board for Julian, callin him that childish ass name. I'm not worried, so like i said, keep fucking the shit outta him, cause if he do end up with the shit, and he dies, baby, i'm on every last one of his insurance policies, so either way, i'll still come out on top, the rightful place of his best bitch. so if you finished with this childs play, i gotta go spend some of Julian's money, money yo tack head ass won't be seeing." click.
" NO THIS BITCH AIN'T HANG THE MAFUKKIN PHONE UP ON ME!" i looked at the phone, realizing that infact, she did click my ass, and hard too. she slamed the shit outta that phone. that's okay though, i hope JU-JU did get aids from me, so he can give it to her gold diggin ass. lemme see, who should i call next? i really don't feel like talking to none of them wellston assed nigga's right now, hell, ray-ray and nik the only ones with working cell phones and the rest be on some fuck something shit, but i'm on a real mission right now, so I ain"t finna be fuckin or suckin nobody, at least not right at this moment. before i could make up my mind what teh next move was, my phone reang. "damn, i hope this is dame, Hello" "BITCH! " click. huh? what the fuck was that? oh well, i can't be worried especially since i couldn't tell if that was a hoe or a nigga. Damn, i need to eat something! my fat ass is starving. lemme see, what did samaj no good ass cook. baked chicken? cornbread? what is this shit? some damn greens. damn, samaj ass be eating all this rich ass food and don't gain shit but gas. me on the other hand, my ass is done gained 30 pounds since i married his ass. nigga ain't good for shit but his mediocre dick, and amature cooking skills. "ring" now who the fuck...."hello?" i answered with a mouth full of cold chicken. " you trifflin ass fat yella bitch, i betcha i tell ya husband about ya secret!" "who the fuck is this......"click. now i'm mad! who the fuck is this female that keep calling my house?"ring"." bitch you betta recognize Ne-Ne ain't the one to play games bitch now quit callin my fuckin phone before i................"before you what, Anita, get ya ass kicked like the ponk bitch you is?" i recognized the voice immediatley. " Nik, baby?" " don't nik baby me. what's the deal?" i knew what he was talking about, but i had to play games with Nik, hell he was too non-chalant, and i've never gotten a rise out of his fine yella ass! oohh nik so fuckin sexy! he 5'7, 150 and bowlegged, and he got good hair, a real platinum grill, and guess what? he a college nigga! so the nigga got some cake, cake that his ass ain't sharing, mind you, but i'll fuck his young 24 yr. old ass like the piece of dick he is. "what you mean?" "anita, just be real with me, you owe me that much at least." "nik, what are you talking about?" he sighed." anita, why the fuck is the whole hood talkin bout ya ass is positive." i spit out the chewed up food in my mouth. who the fuck is running they damn mouth about my business. " positive? what the fuck is that? positive that i don't wanna be married no more?" i was hoping that he'd catch the hint, but he stayed on point." you know what, keep on playing games, but one thing is for certain, and two's for damn sure, that kid you carring ain't mine, and i'm so glad i was smart enough to strap up, since ya ass is out here wilin so hard you done got fucked in the game for life." "hold the fuck on,....." he interupted. " Anita, don't curse me, ya ass did it to yourself , and i hope to god that you ain't still givin that thang to nigga's raw." " what the fuck do you care, college boy? you was just some ass to me any fuckin way!" there. i shut him up. " like wise, bitch, likewise. oh, one more thing from my college ass, nah, make that two, you mufukkin right Im a college dude, but that's to prepare me for the future, unlike yo uneducated, I work at a daycare ass, and two, hoe i seen ya man strollin the streets with that mixed honey of his, so while you out here throwin that ass around, he at home with the right woman. I just can't wait til he find out ya ass is trifflin, you duck ass bitch!" i couldn't say shit but " NIGGA YO MAMA A DAMN DUCK, YOU FAG!" okay, yea it was childish, but hell, he right cut my ass, verbally. " man, get some new material, get a good gynecologist cause ya pussy smell like it got trich, and while you at it, see if they can put some stiches in your hole, you know, so that a nigga can feel some walls when he fuck! damn i'd rather jack the fuck off than put my dick in that wide open loose sloppy shit!" click. Damn, this is becoming a problem. for the 3rd time today, a nigga has told me my coochie is loose and sloppy. i put the plate of chicken and sweet potatoes down to go and do a self exam. i grabbed my hand held mirror, and went into the bathroom and laid on the floor. i spread my legs and parted my pussy lips and inserted three fingers on my left hand. then i put two from my right hand in. mmmh......damn this feels good. i decided to enjoy myself for a minute. i took my left fingers from my pussy and licked my fingers clean. then i pulled out my right titty and licked the nipple. i began to rotate my hips on the floor as i felt my nut about to come down. i used my thumb to rub my clit, just to make the sensation higher."mmmm, oohhh shit!" i soaked the little yellow carpet on the floor of the bathroom with a juicy she-nut. oh well, might as well lay here and recouperate.
meanwhile..............
"yo, my nigga, wassup!" dame greeted samaj with the usual hood handshake. " what it do dame, what you doin over in these parts?" " aw shit nigga, you know me, i gotta get that cake, niga! oh, and before i forget, nigga, congratulations! samaj looked confused." for what?" damn went for the kill. " yo, i heard Ne-Ne about fo months with ya shawty in shit, nigga, !" " what?" "yea, um, you know her potna, um what's that gay ass nigga name? freddie?" "frankie." "yea, that shim bitch booty ass nigga was gettin a sack and was gum bumpin and i heard, so i felt it was only right fa me to say congrats, nigga." samaj felt his anger rise. not only was he pissed to find out on the streets that his wife is pregnant, he also found out that she was cheating. samaj had a vasectomy done 6 months after his son, lil samaj was born. His son is now eight, and he hadn't gotten Anita pregnant in all this time, so how could she be now? "aiight, D, imma holla at chu later." samaj walked back to his car with a million questions on his mind. " damn, what if she is pregnant? damn, i ain't ready for no more kids, but this is my wife. i know she aint cheating on me.Nah, i'm too good to her, fuck that, im finna be a daddy again!" " hello?" " hey, wassup nikita, guess who gonna be a daddy again? what? girl, quit playin. what? you know i can't ride you in my car. okay, just to talk. i'll be there in 10 minutes." click.". Dame stood and watched samaj pull off. " stupid ass nigga married a right nasty ass bitch, now he thinkin my seed his. aw man, this is crazy! aye rock, yea, i just told the nigga. he took it better than i thought, but just wait til the bitch have the baby, and it ain't got none of his features. " dame laughed along with rock. " shit, nigga, all my crumb snatcha's look like dame, and this one aint no exception, but he can take care of the lil fukka, i don't want it."
back at the house........................
RING!RING! "hello?" damn phone woke me out of my masturbation induced nap. " may i speak to Anita please?" "speaking" "anita, this is Dr. Lawson. I was just checking on you and calling with your lab results." "yea, i know, i got H.I.V, i'm pregnant and it don't belong to my wack assed husband, BLAH,BLAH,FUCKIN BLAH! what the fuck else you gotta tell me?" i didn't hear what the doctor was saying because all i heard was SLAP and the phone hit the floor."BITCH YOU WHAT! YOU GOT WHAT! HOE NO YOU AIN'T.....YOU FUCKIN BITCH! I HATE YOU! I KNEW YOU WAS A HOE! BITCH!" until that very moment samaj had never hit me, and gatdamn, did he hit hella hard. "SAMAJ, BABY, WAIT I CAN EXPLAI......" SLAP. "EXPLAIN WHAT, YO BITCH!" i know by now my face must be busted wide open because in between slaps and punches, i saw my blood splash onto the side of the bathtub."SAMAJ, PLEEEASE DON'T HIT ME IN THE FACE NOMORE, IT HURTS!" his eyes looked deranged and evil. "DON'T ......(SLAP) HIT.....(SLAP) YOU.....(SLAP,SLAP,SLAP) WHERE, YOU (SLAP) FUCKIN CUNT BITCH!" samaj grabbed the back of my hair and kneed me in the face. "BITCH YOU PREGNANT BY SOME OTHA NIGGA, AND YA ASS GOT H.I.V! BITCH YOU JUST TOOK MY LIFE!" he grabbed my neck and began to squeeze. i thought i was done for, and no better had it been for my ass, hell, i just hurt the one nigga who truly gave a fuck about me. i lied, cheated, and fucked around so much until not only did i take my own irresponsible life, but his too. samaj kept choking me and yelling until Nikita pulled him off of me. " SAMAJ, LET HER GO! SHE AIN'T WORTH THE JAIL TIME! SAMAJ, LET GO!!" i hated this bitch and her accent, but i thank God she was ther, cause samaj was gonna kill my ass. but samaj was still standig over me with this psychotic look in his eyes, and who could blame him? i'd just given him H.I.V, was still in his house and pregnant by another nigga. I had some fuckin nerve, and to make it all bad, the ghetto hoe in me still would not rest, even though my mind was screaming"SHUT UP BITCH!!" "FUCK YOU SAMAJ, YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU AINT A MAN! YOU BEATIN ME LIKE IM SOME NIGGA IN THE STREET AND COMMIN IN OUR HOUSE WITH THIS BITCH!" my words slurred, and blood spewed from my mouth as i screamed at him, and my head hurt like hell, but i wasn't done. I had to again have the last word. samaj is weak, so whatever i say he's gonna respond with tears. " OH YEA, BITCH? WELL HOW MUCH OF A MAN DO YOU THINK THIS WILL MAKE ME?" as i sat on the floor, samaj ran full throttle and kicked me square in the side of my stomach twice. "OH MY GOD SAMAJ, STOP! SHE'S FUCKING BLEEDING!! WE GOTTA GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE OR WE ARE GOING TO JAIL! C'MON RIGHT NOW!!" i heard nikita yelling at samaj, but he didn't budge, he did however kick my stomach again, and said" YOU BITCH, YOU DESERVE TO LIVE ALONE! NO CHILD DESERVES TO HAVE YOUR CUNT ASS AS HIS OR HER MOTHER!" samaj spit on me before he walked, that's right, the damn nigga walked out of the house. as i lay there bloody, i heard glass breaking, and what i think was shit falling everywhere, so i thought that samaj was trying to set my house on fire. i couldn't believe that my life was ending like this. Ofcourse i have been real grimey, but i don't deserve to die. i began to pray "FATHER, IN THE NAME OF JESUS, I ASK FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS FOR MY BEHAVIOR. I KNOW THAT I AM NOT DESERVING OF YOUR PROTECTION, BUT I AM NOT READY TO DIE, FATHER, AND I THINK MY HUSBAND IS GOING TO KILL ME. PLEASE SPARE MY LIFE, GOD, AND I WILL NEVER, EVER BRING HARM TO SOMEONE ELSES LIFE AGAIN, PLEASE FATHER, SAVE ME!! i passed out.
an unknown time had passed, and i woke up in Barnes Hospital's I.C.U. of course nobody had visited me, my father is in jail, and my mother hates me because i had sex with her boyfriend, so im alone. All that was visible to me were a few get well soon ballons from frankie, and a few of my co workers. I also noticed that I'm not pregnant anymore. for the first time, i broke down and cried. Because of my foolishness, i have murdered my child. my thoughts were interrupted by my doctor. "How are you feeling, Anita?" " i don't know. i feel, horrible." " well, anita, you almost died in a fire, that is what......."no, Dr. Lawson, i feel horrible because of my actions. because i was such a whore, my child is dead, ny husband is infected, and now we are getting a divorce." i put my head in my hands and cried. Dr. Lawson looked like she wanted to cry, but she held it together. " Anita, as difficult as this situation is, you actually brought this on yourself. i asked you to alert your husband and all the other men you were sexually involed with, but you didn't. but great news, your test results were mixed up and you do not have H.I.V, you do however have HPV, and we need to get you treated as soon as possible." "WHAT?" Dr. Lawson cleared her throat. " i said, you have H.P.V." "you mean, i got my ass beat nearly to death and....." Dr. Lawson interrupted me. " what did you say? you got beat up? Anita, answer me, di someone set your home one fire? did samaj do it?" i slipped up. there was no way i was gonna bring more harm to samaj after all the shit i'd done to him. " no, no, samaj didn't do this, he left me 2 days after i left your office, i told him everything." damn, i was still lying, and fresh on the heels of a repentance too. I hope god shows me some leeway. "oh i see." Dr. Lawson moved her glasses up on her nose. " well, you've been here for a week, and if you are up to it, you can go home, um, be released tomorrow." " Dr. Lawson, don't pitty me. I made my bed, now i gotta lye in it. i ruined my marraige. it wasn't perfect, but samaj did love me, and i had to be selfish." Dr. Lawson rubbed my back. " Get some rest. we'll talk more tomorrow before you are discharged." she turned to leave the room, and paused. " Anita, do you want to know what you had?" "yes." " a little girl. she was beautiful." and she left the room.
I slept until 8:45pm, then decided that i needed to talk to someone else. The first thought was to call frankie. " Hello?" "hey frankie, whats up?" "GURL! I'M SOOO GLAD YOU ARE OKAY! I THOUGHT YOU WAS GONE DIE!" frankie was my bitch. he was always there for me in the worst of times. " nah, i said a prayer before my house blazed up and i passed out." i paused. " frankie, i gotta ask you something." "you know you can, wasup?" "well you know my house is gone, my baby is dead and samaj left me and i have....." "GIRL YOU KNOW YOU CAN STAY WITH ME UNTIL FOREVER ENDS, STOP THAT NONSENSE!" "thank you frankie, from the bottom of my heart. you know, you all i got frankie, and i gotta make sure i don't hurt nobody else, i promised God." " where is this confession comming from?" I took a breath and told frankie everything. At first he said nothing, then he replied. " bitch, first of all, you know better than to be just fuckin all them niggas. okay, so this time ya ass don't got the monster, but what happens next time? what if God gets so pissed off with you until he let you die? you gosta do better!" i cried as frankie's fagg ass preached nothing but the truth to me. " i know, frankie, and i promise, i'll take better care of me this time, and try not to hurt others too." "you better, cause if i see you slippin, you out of my house, out of my life, and to top it off, imma kick ya ass worse than ya husband did. speaking of which, where the fuck is his trifflin ass?" " frankie, samaj is the victim here, not me." " bullshit! there is a better way to handle skanks, pregnant skanks than beating the fuck outta them and burning them alive! i can hat his ass til forever, but you miss thang, you need to get the fuck off this phone with me and apologize to him. you owe him that much." " i can't." " YOU BETTER! it is the first step in redeption. then you gotta forgive yourself, hell you only human." i didn't say anything, but frankie was right. " okay, mama, i'll do it. hey, im supposed to be released tomorrow, so can you come get me?" "only if you promise to call samaj and apologize." " i promise frankie." "okay, goodnight Anita, and God bless you." frankie hung up just before tears fell from my eyes. God had indeed blessed me. He didn't let me die, and i hope he's forgiven me for my foolishness. I picked up the reciever to dial samaj's cell phone. " hello?" " hello, nikita, i'm sorry to call your home so late, and i'm sorry in general for my behavior in the past." she sighed. " Anita, i forgave you a long time ago, but it's good to hear you say it. and i'm sorry i didn't try harder to stop samaj. he frightened me, but, well you know what sent him over the edge. how are you feeling?" "i'm as well as to be expected. is samaj in?" she sighed then said " Anita, samaj doesn't want anything more to do with you, this is why i answered his phone." a lumo formed in my throat, then i spoke in a distressed voice " Nikita, that's my husband, i love him, i need to speak to him just to apologize to him. please give him the phone." " Anita, samaj filed for divorce yesterday. you should have gotten the papers today, if not, you'll see them in the morning. And i understand that you feel sorry and i agree that you need to apologize, but samaj doesn't want to speak to you right now, okay/" "NO! IT'S NOT OKAY! I NEED TO TELL MY HUSBAND I'M SORRY AND I LOVE HIM TO DEATH!" i screamed as if it would get her attention and hand samaj the damn phone, but she again sighed and spoke, " Anita, yelling isn't gonna change what it is, so please, If i can repect you, please respect me, I've been nothing but patient and courteous to you throughout this whole mess, even when, no especially when you have totally disrepected me." i calmed down because she was right. " what are you trying to do, Nikita, take my husband?" "no, i don't have to take him, cause i prayed earnestly that he and i reunite. I thank God for hearing my prayers, because samaj is where he belongs, but i especially thank you for not realizing the wonderful man you had in samaj, so honey, take isn't the word, you gave him to me. but i won't argue anymore with you, because i don't go back and forth with anyone...." i heard samaj enter the room and say " HANG UP ON THAT FUCKIN BITCH, NOW!!!" " samaj, stop! you're better than shouting foolishness back and forth like a child, take this damned phone and hear what she has to say, whether you accept it or not! here!" i swallowed what seemed like the biggest wad of spit that had formed in my mouth other than when i was sucking dick while i waited for samaj to take the phone. " BITCH MAKE THIS FAST! I DON'T OWE YOU SHIT BUT A COUPLE A SECONDS STARTING RIGHT NOW!!" i couldn't speak. "TALK HOE!! KITA TAKE THIS FUCKIN PHONE, I AIN'T GOT TIME FOR THIS HERE SHIT!" i saw my last chance at redeption slipping away, so i again attempted to speak, but all that came out was " I.....I...I.....I'M" "YOU WHAT, SORRY, YOU FUCKIN CUNT? YOU SHOULD BE! AND I'M SORRY I MET YA ASS, TRAMP BITCH!" samaj hung up on me. I could feel his rage like he was standing right there in front of me. i decided not to give up, because i still loved samaj, but evidently he didn't feel the same anymore because everytime i called he'd hang right up. over the course of 25 minutes he continued to hang up on me without saying anything. i waited about 10 minutes and called back and recieved a reply that caused my heart to drop " THE NUMBER OR CODE YOU'VE DIALED IS INCORRECT. PLEASE CHECK THE NUMBER AND TRY YOUR CALL AGAIN," the automated sprint voice said. i called the number 3 times and recieved the same answer. oh my God, samaj really don't want me no more, and it's my fault! i cried myself to sleep that night, sobbing not because samaj changed his number, but because i caused myself my own heartache. samaj was a good man, a damn good man, but i let my friends take him away from me, now what i got? nothing but bruises and bumps and memories that i don't want. I'd trade every memory in my head to have samaj in my life again. Nikita was right, i didn't know what i had in samaj, until he left, now it's too late.
that night, i awoke at about 4:45am to a very beautiful woman with long black locks tied back into a ponytail standing over my bed. " can i help you mama?" she said nothing, but stood there and smiled." mama, can i help you?" still, she said nothing. i was about to get pissed off and let her have it until she said" you don't know me because you didn't take time to get to know me, but thank you, MOMMA for sending me back to my creator. you see, as my mother, you would have harmed me more than my daddy kicking me to death ever did. but as for now, I am your guardian angel, i'll be with you until you displease god, then if you do, he will unleash a fury on you so great you will wish for death. now sleep well mommy," she placed her hand on my mouth before i could speak and i fell asleep. i woke again to frankie wiping my face and dabbing my eyes. " wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey! you ready to go home ne-ne?" i jumped out of the bed and looked in every square inch of the room for my daughter. " WHERE IS SHE?" " she who?" frankie looked confused. "MY DAUGHTER, SHE WAS JUST HERE! WHERE DID SHE GO!" i looked around frantically, but then realised what she said. then i realized that frankie probabbly wouldn't be able to see her either. " you alright ne-ne?" i sighed."yea, just ready to go home." "well, your doctor told me to give you this." frankie handed me a manilla envelope. it was my divorce papers from samaj."you know, you don't have to sign them immediatley. you can wait a while longer." i looked reality square in the face in the form of black ink on white pages that translated into divorce papers. it was over, and no reason for me to delay any longer. " frankie, can we just go, please?" frankie had already packed my things, the little that i had. When we reached the main entrance of the hospital, frankie was talking about something i wasn't really caring to hear when i saw her again. in the daylight, i saw exactly how my daughter looked. she is tall like samaj, thin like samaj, but has all of my features totally from hair texture to the almond slant in her deep brown eyes. she wore a white sundress that was sugar white. her locks, now hanging loose blew in the wind and her face shone with the beams of the sun. I stared at her, and tears formed in my eyes. she smiled back, then disappeared. " GIRL, WHAT IN THE HELL IS SO CAPTIVATING ON KINGSHIGHWAY THAT YOU CAN'T ANSWER ME!" frankie said in full fagg mode."nothing, frankie, just glad to be alive, and in God's grace." " good, i was finna say, bitch yo ass all beat the fuck up and you grinnin at some man?" " nah, frankie, i gotta start over. i got a long way to go before i can even be good enough for a man." "well, ain't Karma taught somebody's tale a lesson?" i smiled and looked out the window as i sat on frankie's leather seats of his Tahoe." yes it did, yes it did."
FIVE YEARS LATER: " YOU MAY NOW KISS THE BRIDE!" i can't believe it, i'm married again! micheal is so wonderful, and i swear to God, this time i know i got a gift from God. while micheal and i were walking down the aisle, i watched our 3 year old twin boys samaj and james throwing rice at each other, and what looked like my daughter from my relationship with samaj standing watching them in approval. she mouthed " i love you mommy, and disappeared." my life was finally in order, and i was finally forgiven.